Where do they come from?

I got this phone call yesterday:

Me: ELise Clothing Company. Hello. Hello.

Hyper, cracked out nut: HELLO?? HELLO? HI! Is this....(static static static)

Me (ready to hang up already) This is Elise Clothing Company.

Nutcase: HI! Is this the owner? OK, I heard you're thinking of opening other boutiques--

Me (sure someone's trying to sell me something): Yeah, we are kind of considering possibly expanding.

Nutcase: GREAT! Well, I'd just love to take you to lunch, get you a resume, and GET INVOLVED!!! Your business has just exploded!

Me (wondering why this freak is way more into my life than I am): That's very nice of you and everything, and thanks for being so interested. You're welcome to drop off a resume, but we're not hiring anytime soon. We already have an employee here and we don't even know when or where we'll be opening another store.

Her: O-KAY! Well, let me tell you a little about me. I've never done retail before, but I did PR for a makeup line, back when Ralph Lauren had a makeup line. I was great!

Me: Uh-huh.

Her: And I sound young, but I'm actually forty-four. I've also been a schoolteacher.

Me: Right....

Her: And I just think it's just great what you're doing, and I want to be involved. So tell me, what kind of things would you like included on my resume?

Me: Well....

Her: Like I said, it's great what you're doing. It's just exploded. And I used to be a teacher, so obviously...

Me: Ya know...

Her: Should I bring it by now or later? What kind of timeframe? I know you're moving, so I don't want my resume to get lost.

Me: We're actually not moving. We're thinking of opening a SECOND LOCATION. Different.

Her: You know, I've done management too. I'd definitely be interested in that. And I'm forty-four, I'm not that young, so...

Me: Yeah.

Her: So it just looks like you're moving?

Me: NO, we're not moving at all. We had a sidewalk charity sale last weekend, so maybe that was confusing. If so, trust me, I'm sorry.

Her: So the resume. I'll e-mail it to you!

Me: Drop it off. At your leisure. And please drop off the largest possible Costco jug of whiskey, as well.