Light bulbs

Latest retarded exchange between me and my man:

JC: I just put new bulbs in the bathroom.

Me: Yes, I know. I have to freaking wear my sunglasses in there, it's so bright.

JC: It's just because they're brand-new bulbs, so they're extra bright.

Me: That's ridiculous. New bulbs aren't brighter. It's not like they fade out as they get older!

JC: These bulbs do. They're a different kind.

Me: You always do this. You're just rattling off bullshit to see if I'll believe it.

JC: Yeah. That actually is kind of what I was doing. It makes sense, though.

Me: I think it just seems extra bright because we were used to it being like pitch dark in there for months. I mean, we were taking showers and we couldn't even see where our balls were, I was like "Where are my balls?" and I don't even have balls, that's how dark it was.

may my every thought and fantasy be public knowledge

Did you ever put away clean laundry only so you'd have a place to put your new (dirty) laundry? Yeah, me too! Having clothes to wear isn't the problem, it's where to put the dirty crap in the meantime!

So the social networking thing has gone completely apeshit out of control, I realize this. I'm putting a cap on it. I've got three things going, OK, technically four, but this is a blog, so it doesn't count, right? Of course I'm right! Apparently Twitter is the hottest thing going, according to a news thing I read today, because we've become so ADHD we can only grasp 140 characters, if that, before we completely lose interest. I know that's true for me, but I thought I was the nutcase exception, not the rule. Whatever.

So my limit is three, technically four. I have Myspace (my gateway drug a few years back), Facebook (UGHGGHHGHhhh), Twitter (ahahahahohkeepgoingokthat'senough), and of course the one I'm not quite counting, this blog on blogspot, where I'm wordier and less inhibited. I figure if you're going to bother to really read, you better be prepared for the reality of swearing and innuendo and such. That's the way I talk in real life, not so much on Facebook where everyone I've known since, I don't know, embryohood reads my every whim and thought. That would explain why I now have my Twitters visible on Facebook AND myspace. Or....ok. Maybe I'm just sleepy.

TGIS

Blah, arrrggghhh...this week has been absolute wreckage. Productive wreckage, but wreckage nonetheless! I do have to say this: businesswise, we have made more concrete progress in the last 2 months than ever before...I mean, than in any 2 months before. But sometimes it feels like one step forward and 5 steps back. Oh well, perception is everything, I'm sure. I love what I do, and if I'm exhausted after it, at least it feels worthwhile!

I truthfully do not know how I got through doing this alone for so long. I have the best possible person to help me through the day-to-day now, a total right hand who GETS IT...as well as a business partner who gets it as well. Although I've had that since the beginning. I love JC more than life itself, did I mention that today? HA! As if I could go a day without.

Any Way You Want It. Really. Any.

We went to the Journey concert last night, which was such a blast...especially considering we don't get that many big shows here, AND JC got a call the day of the show to say, bad news...there's a palm tree right in front of your seats...Ha ha, LOL, JK, we moved you 20 rows forward because of the palm tree! Wah!

OK, so in case you didn't know, the lead singer of Journey is now this little bouncing-off-the -walls Filipino guy who looks like he's 15 and who they found on YouTube (I'm not making that up, Wikipedia it bitches), but he's actually 41 and sounds EXACTLY like Steve Perry, I'm serious, EXACTLY. You would think it's not really him singing, but if it weren't, they would have gotten someone who, no offense to anyone involved, looked more like the other band members, KWIM?

Ha ha. You know what I'm sayin'.

The show rocked, of course it rocked. Honestly, though, the highlight for me happened not on stage, but in the aisle near the end of the show. This older drunk gentleman decided he needed to dance. It started out with him shaking his hips around and doing a few dizzy twirls, and then I think someone made the mistake of catcalling him, and he fully broke it down. Gyrating, hip thrusting, and the finale was him ending up on his knees doing hip rolls with his head back nearly touching the ground! The crowd LOVED it! People on the other side of the fence in the beer garden were having hysterical fits, screaming, reaching out for him, and he was grabbing hands, humbly thanking his fans, while one of the biggest bands in the world played "Don't Stop Believin'" on the stage way behind him! It was truly his moment. God bless him.

So, what did I learn today, at the Journey show? I learned, ok, I learned that no matter how old or young or sexy or not so sexy, if you think you got game, you got game. OK. Now I get to go off to the gym and do a spin class. I, people, do not have game. For the record or whatever.

Pua, the flower

Our lovely little Pua passed away this week, which has thrown me into this angsty awful turmoil...I miss her so much, and I'm the one who has it easy, as I knew her for 2 1/2 years, not 10 like the rest of her family. I dropped popcorn on the floor the day of, and I honestly thought, oh, Pua will come grab that up...then realized. And at night I want her to come put her sweet little boxer head on the edge of the bed SO BAD. The last two weeks of her life were so horrendous, she was desperately suffering and it was so hard to know if there was a chance she would recover or not.

Many things went wrong with her in those two weeks, as she literally went from racing around on the beach to completely unresponsive, over 14 miserable days. It felt endlessly long and as sudden as the snap of a finger, all at once. I know that plenty of my friends have lost siblings, fathers, mothers, and I know Pua was a pet, not a person...the problem is that she was a member of the family, and she seemed far more human than dog. She always understood what was happening, emotionally if not logically. We have Kiko, the big boy boxer rescuee....and he's a comfort and a constant reminder, all at once. He walks in the room, a brown blur, and it's startling for a second. For the last year or so, I called her Goddess Pua, my little nickname for the wonder doggie.

Spinning With The Devil

JC and I just joined a different gym.

This is good because it means going to the gym suddenly sounds fun again! Everything is new and different and that's motivating. That line of thinking will probably last a week or so, but let me be happy for now!

Well...maybe happy is a stretch..I did a spin class this morning. If you do not know what spinning is, go down to your local gym and ask to take a spin class. At that point, you will be put on a waiting list, possibly be asked to pay to reserve a bike (even if you're a member), and it will be well known that you're lucky they're allowing you to sign up for this super-exclusive club called Spinning, because spinners are hardcore. And spin class is not like kickboxing or yoga, where you can pretty much always squish another body into the room. In spin, if you don't have a bike, you don't Spin! And there are always less bikes than there are eager potential spinners. At my old gym, there were seriously near-fistfights and rifts in decades-old friendships over bikes.

What these people are competing so desperately for is pretty much an hour of sheer misery that will having you crying out for your mama! This is proof positive, yet again, that humans, especially women, will decide they want ANYTHING if you tell them they might not be able to have it,because someone else wants it too.

Where do they come from?

I got this phone call yesterday:

Me: ELise Clothing Company. Hello. Hello.

Hyper, cracked out nut: HELLO?? HELLO? HI! Is this....(static static static)

Me (ready to hang up already) This is Elise Clothing Company.

Nutcase: HI! Is this the owner? OK, I heard you're thinking of opening other boutiques--

Me (sure someone's trying to sell me something): Yeah, we are kind of considering possibly expanding.

Nutcase: GREAT! Well, I'd just love to take you to lunch, get you a resume, and GET INVOLVED!!! Your business has just exploded!

Me (wondering why this freak is way more into my life than I am): That's very nice of you and everything, and thanks for being so interested. You're welcome to drop off a resume, but we're not hiring anytime soon. We already have an employee here and we don't even know when or where we'll be opening another store.

Her: O-KAY! Well, let me tell you a little about me. I've never done retail before, but I did PR for a makeup line, back when Ralph Lauren had a makeup line. I was great!

Me: Uh-huh.

Her: And I sound young, but I'm actually forty-four. I've also been a schoolteacher.

Me: Right....

Her: And I just think it's just great what you're doing, and I want to be involved. So tell me, what kind of things would you like included on my resume?

Me: Well....

Her: Like I said, it's great what you're doing. It's just exploded. And I used to be a teacher, so obviously...

Me: Ya know...

Her: Should I bring it by now or later? What kind of timeframe? I know you're moving, so I don't want my resume to get lost.

Me: We're actually not moving. We're thinking of opening a SECOND LOCATION. Different.

Her: You know, I've done management too. I'd definitely be interested in that. And I'm forty-four, I'm not that young, so...

Me: Yeah.

Her: So it just looks like you're moving?

Me: NO, we're not moving at all. We had a sidewalk charity sale last weekend, so maybe that was confusing. If so, trust me, I'm sorry.

Her: So the resume. I'll e-mail it to you!

Me: Drop it off. At your leisure. And please drop off the largest possible Costco jug of whiskey, as well.